It's almost mid-season in the NFL, and that means it's time to present my second annual mid-season NFL awards — now with corporate sponsorship.

My awards don't quite match the awards the NFL gives out at the end of the season. But, I'm proud my awards don't coincide with those of the league that inspired Playmakers.

Okay, I'll shut up. Here are the awards.

1. Enron Reformed Rule Breakers Award: Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings are off to a perfect 6-0 start due in large part to two notorious rule breakers. Randy Moss, last year's recipient of the "I'm a Delinquent at Heart" Award, has managed to stay out of trouble this year and leads the league in receiving with 666 yards. Defensive coordinator George O'Leary, infamous for fudging his application to Notre Dame, has transformed the defense into a solid bunch.

2. Fancy Feast Fantastic Felines Award: Carolina Panthers. In a season when the other teams named after cats (Bengals, Jaguars and Lions) have collectively used way more than nine lives, the Panthers have been the cat's meow. When opponents face these black cats, they usually have no luck. The Panthers are 5-1 with a scary defense leading the way.

3. Bumble Bee Tuna Best Coach Award: Bill Parcells. What the man is doing in Dallas is remarkable. He has changed the Cowboys from a bad team to a team that has looked flat-out dominating at times. Under Parcells, they are 5-1. They are beginning to regain some of the swagger of Cowboys teams of the mid-1990s. Even the unheralded Quincy Carter is looking like Troy Aikman.

4. Sharpie Crybaby Award: Terrell Owens. Someone find Owens a pacifier. After his sideline tantrum against the Vikings in Week 4, T.O. looked like he needed to be sent to timeout. Owens is as talented as they come, but he's got to learn that fits of temper in the middle of a game and public outbursts will only hurt team unity.

5. Febreeze Pepe Le Pew Award: tie between the Arizona Cardinals and Chicago Bears. This award is reserved for a team that, in absence of a better word, stinks. These two teams have stunk equally this season. Watching the Bears is more boring than vanilla ice cream. Watching the Cardinals is … wait, who watches the Cardinals?

6. Expedia Change of Scenery Award: Jake Plummer. Though injured now, Plummer has the fifth highest quarterback rating in the NFL with the Denver Broncos. I try not to pay too much attention to statistics, but his rating is over 20 points higher than his career rating. Plummer must have been salivating at the shot to buy a one-way ticket out of Arizona just like Ricky Williams couldn't wait to leave New Orleans for Miami.

7. Elegance Brand Adult Diapers Over the Hill Award: Oakland Raiders. Oakland's big three of 41-year-old Jerry Rice (no touchdowns), 37-year-old Tim Brown (291 yards receiving) and 37-year-old Rich Gannon (QB rating of 73.5) have looked their ages this season. The Raiders are beginning to realize that last year was the last chance to win it all.

8. Hallmark Get Well Soon Award: Michael Vick. The Atlanta Falcons have been awful this season without their superstar Vick. It's too early to call him the Barry Bonds of football, but he has the ability to change the game just like Bonds can. No other player gives opposing teams more fits. So when he is on the bench, opposing teams' defensive coordinators can sleep a little easier.

Josh Purse is a junior in communications. He can be reached at sports@dailyillini.com.