junior in communications

Neil has tapped into the most heated debate in the short history of this column. It started when I challenged NASCAR fans to prove that NASCAR is, in fact, a sport. They are unsuccessful as of yet. Anyway, Neil, I think we should break down what makes up a sport. A sport involves

1) athletes

2) said athletes competing in a nature where their athletic ability is what drives the competition

I think that sums it up. The key is that the athletic ability of the competitors is what drives the action, makes it good or bad, and ultimately, resolves the competition. With these rules laid down, I believe you can have "sports," "competitions" and "games."

A sport meets both of the requirements. Football, basketball, soccer, rugby, baseball, swimming … these are all obvious qualifiers. A competition is something that may or may not involve athletes, but regardless, they are not competing in a way in which their athletic ability is the determining factor. In NASCAR, the drivers depend on the car. In horse racing, the jockeys rely on the horse. A game is something that doesn't involve athletes. Chess, darts, poker, taps … these are examples of non-athletes using their own skills to determine the outcome.

A lot of people argue, specifically about NASCAR drivers, that they have years of experience and have put in incredible amounts of hard work, and that I could never do what they do. Well, the guy that pilots a blimp has both of those qualifications, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't pilot a blimp. Does that make what he does a sport? Of course not.

I don't think figure skating is a sport. This is because the opinion of the judges warrants the outcome. If the judging were based solely on technical merit, like in diving, then it would be fine, but for these athletes to throw themselves on the mercy of the judges' "artistic" interpretation is asinine.

What about golf? Golf is a sport, because neither the clubs nor the balls are under the influence of any factor besides the golfer. It is just the golfer relying on his or her athletic ability.

To argue that someone is an "athlete" simply because they have years of experience and have worked hard to get to where they are is a joke. Tell me one job that that can't be said about.

Jim: "I tell you what, Bob, George has sure put some serious time and effort into fixing that copy machine."

Bob: "You said it. Man, what an athlete."

I think I've made my point.

Matt,

What is up with Simeon Rice on MNF never saying he went to Illinois. Instead, it is "the school of hard knocks" or "Playa University." What is he doing?

Brandon Steffen

senior in business

Yeah, what is that? Most players used to be proud of where they went and wouldn't hesitate to let you know about it. Not only is what he doing low class and a slap in the face to this school, it started the trend of everybody trying to do it. Now I've got players putting on a little dog-and-pony show when all I want to see is the starting lineups. Thanks a lot, Simeon. You got what you deserve with that leaping penalty.

That's all for today. I'll see you on Friday, and remember to write in to sports@dailyillini.com. I'll field questions on anything, be it fantasy football, the World Series From Hell, professional wrestling or anything you can think of.