Remember those "I'm thankful for…" lists you had to make back in elementary school every time Thanksgiving came around? I do, and with Thanksgiving just a week away, it's time to bring that tradition back.

Only this time, I'll tell you what you might find on some "I'm thankful for…" lists in the sports world. (Disclaimer: Some lists may be more sincere than others.)

Keyshawn Johnson — I'm thankful for the opportunity to play a game for a living. I'm thankful for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They have overpaid me by millions of dollars, put up with my childish antics for four years and brought a coach to town who led my team to a Super Bowl in his first year at the helm. I'm thankful that I have the ability to not whine and just play for the love of the game despite some difference I have with that coach.

Doc Rivers — I'm thankful for the Orlando Magic ownership, who astutely judged my coaching performance. They intelligently removed me from a situation that I was obviously unfit to handle. I'm thankful that four years of overachieving can be wiped out by a bad 11-game stretch.

Baylor football — I'm thankful for Mike Lupica, the sportswriter who was outspoken about Oklahoma running up the score on Texas A & M. I played Oklahoma the next week. Instead of the 77-0 hurting they put on Texas A & M, they were worried about being called out again and only beat us by a measly score of 41-3.

Kansas City Chiefs — I'm thankful for the cover designers at Sports Illustrated. They put me on the cursed cover of their magazine when I was 9 – 0. I was really getting sick and tired of winning all those games in a row. I'm thankful for the midseason wake-up call that resulted from the loss. It's exactly what I needed.

George Steinbrenner — I'm thankful for the money tree that sits in my backyard. Without it, I would never be able to buy the best free agents on the market. I'm thankful for the times that my team appears in the World Series, even when we don't win it. I realize some teams have to wait more than 95 years just for a World Series appearance.

NASCAR — I'm thankful for people who claim that chess is a sport. I'm thankful for people who claim ballroom dancing is a sport. I'm thankful for people who claim professional wrestling is a sport. All of these people help make driving in circles for hours on end look more like a sport.

Barry Bonds — I'm thankful for MVP voters, who considered statistical categories like batting average, walks and slugging percentage when deciding whether I should be the National League MVP. I'm thankful they didn't consider statistical categories like likability and performance-enhancing drug use.

Freddy Adu — I'm thankful for the fact that most of the American public seems to completely believe that I am only 14 years old. I'm thankful that people can still be unsuspecting, even after Danny Almonte fooled the American public long enough to lead his team to a Little League World Series title. I'm thankful I play soccer and not baseball.

USC football — I'm thankful for the BCS.

And I'm thankful for all the good and bad in the world of sports, without which I'd have nothing to write about every week.

Josh Purse is a junior in communications. He can be reached at sports@dailyillini.com