The
latest plague: L.S.A.D.
I cut my finger and it hurts, but I don't care.
I've got to do my laundry, but I don't care. My chair could be on
fire right now, and I wouldn't care. Why? Because as I write this,
it's Sunday. Even worse, it's late in the afternoon on Sunday. People
often think that Mondays are worse. Nope, Sunday afternoons are.
You wouldn't normally think of this time of the week as being the
worst because it's technically the weekend. Make no mistake, though;
these few hours are the king of the bad times. It crushes your spirit.
Did you notice that I haven't called you Davers? Do you know why?
Because right now, on this late Sunday afternoon, I don't think there's
such a thing as a Daver.
There's a name for this idea. It's called "Late Sunday Afternoon Depression."
I forgot where I heard this term, but it sure is right on.
I have some theories as to why L.S.A.D. exists. First of all, it's
right before the work week. In the morning or early afternoon, you're
just waking up and feeling refreshed. Plus, at that point you have
a whole day ahead of you. And by the time it's night, you've already
accepted the fact that the next day is Monday. And you'll probably
have a good dinner, which is always nice.
But late afternoon is different. You've realized that the day is gone
and soon you'll be starting Monday. Also, you might look back on the
weekend and think, "It went too fast," or "I didn't do anything fun,"
or "I can't believe I went to bed at 10 o'clock on Friday and didn't
wake up 'til late Sunday afternoon!" No matter what you say, you're
not feeling good about it. The fact is, by late Sunday afternoon you've
got five days of work ahead of you. By Monday, you've only got four.
Also, L.S.A.D. is really bad for your productivity. I'm not saying
that people don't get things done. After all, I'm getting this column
done. It's the efficiency and motivation rate that nose-dive. You
don't know it, but as I've written this, I've already made two phone
calls, had one conversation with my roommates and spent 10 minutes
trying to figure out what music to listen to.
 L.S.A.D.
makes you want to just sit around all day and watch television or
lay in bed. But even this can't be done. The lethargy is too much
for someone suffering from L.S.A.D. A person under the depressing
spell of late Sunday afternoon is also very vulnerable to guilt. The
simple act of taking a couple of hours to yourself might prove to
drive a person insane because he or she is not getting that paper
done.
You know, for a while I wondered if I was alone. So I went out and
talked to some of you out there to find out if you experienced this
phenomenon. I made sure that I really talked with people that were
different from me. The focus of this research, as far as I was concerned,
was diversity.
First I spoke to Ed Obuchowski, a graduate of the University. He said
that he too suffered from L.S.A.D. when he went to the University
six years ago. "In my day there was a Pizzeria Uno out by the mall
that we'd go to on Sundays to try to get rid of (L.S.A.D.). We'd go
out and do weird things like drive to Long John Silver's in Paxton.
Then we'd eat a lot. God, I hated Sundays. They're totally miserable.
Speaking of which, today is Sunday. Thanks for reminding me."
Then I attempted to speak with Susan Obuchowski, senior in LAS, but
she wasn't home so I didn't find out much. However, I would theorize
that she too suffers from L.S.A.D.
What can be done about L.S.A.D.? I have no idea. That's why I decided
to seek the advice of the medical world. First, I called the University's
Dial-A-Nurse. Apparently, Dial-A-Nurse is now operated by Carle since
the message told me that I reached "Carle Patient Advisory Nurse answering
for McKinley." The message told me to press 2 to talk to a nurse.
For an instant, I almost felt a surge of hope break through my heavy
L.S.A.D. Then, of course, I was disconnected (sigh). I tried a few
more times with the same result (sigh ... sigh).
I then contacted the Osco Drug Pharmacy (who actually didn't disconnect
me). They informed me that there was no drug specifically subscribed
for depression that occurs only during the late afternoon hours of
Sunday. I sadly asked if they were sure. They were (sigh).
But then my luck changed for the better. I called Provena Covenant
Medical Center. I spoke with someone in the emergency room, and they
told me that someone could be admitted for L.S.A.D. And they would
treat them too.
So there are two options if you're suffering from L.S.A.D. The first:
Wait for the evening. The second: Go to the emergency room.
If you ever choose the second option, you should probably plan ahead
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