Mike Wilkening

The groundhog is a sports fan. At least, that’s my theory.

Here’s what I think. Last Tuesday, he emerged from hibernation. He looked around, realized that the NCAA tournament wasn’t for another six weeks, said “Screw it” and went back to sleep.

He has the right idea. February is a rotten time to be a sports fan. Unless you choose to put the rent money on a Bulls-Clippers game, there are no games of consequence in any major sport. Well, outside of college basketball, of course.

February is especially a downer for NFL fans. The Super Bowl is over, and the first Mel Kiper Jr. sighting is weeks away.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t start looking ahead to next season. And it’s not like we have much of a choice — do you really want to watch another ice skating exhibition or listen to Billy Packer prattle on about nothing?

Neither do I.

Very well, then. On to the business of ranking each of the 31 NFL teams as they head into next season:

1. Rams. Re-signing Todd Lyght should be their first priority. How they deal with Trent Green is something to keep an eye on.

2. Titans. Need a back-up running back and quarterback (assuming Neil O’Donnell leaves) and another impact wide receiver. Someone to help Steve McNair with his passing technique would also be nice.

3. Colts. Another year of experience for Manning, James and Harrison won’t hurt.

4. Jaguars. They still think they’re better than Tennessee. One of these years, they may get around to proving it.

5. Buccaneers. No wide receivers, one raw quarterback, two flawed running backs. Yep, the defense better get its rest in the off-season.

6. Jets. If the season were 20 weeks long instead of 17, they would have made the playoffs. But was that because of the players or Dr. Parcells?

7. Redskins. Rumored to be trying to trade two of their first round picks (12th and 24th overall) for the 49ers’ first round pick (third overall). May also be looking to trade for Jerry Rice. That would be a mistake — he’s petulant, past his prime and pricey.

8. Bills. Blessed — or, some might say, cursed — with two good quarterbacks.

9. Vikings. If Dennis Green wants to remain employed much longer, he’ll re-sign Jeff George.

10. Packers. An intriguing team. If they add a few more impact players on defense, they could challenge in a weak NFC.

11. Raiders. Could be next year’s Titans if they become more consistent.

12. Broncos. Like the Jets, saved their best ball for the end of the season. They get Terrell Davis back, too.

13. Chiefs. Need to go running back shopping.

14. Seahawks. Look for them to tell Joey Galloway to take a hike. Need to decide if Jon Kitna can lead them to a Super Bowl.

15. Panthers. All the pieces are in place on offense, but the defense needs a lot of help. A fun team to watch.

16. Patriots. Whoever coined the phrase “Be careful for what you wish for” must’ve had Bill Belichick in mind.

17. Dolphins. Might be ranked a little low, but I can’t get past the way they quit against the Jaguars. And that was when Jimmy Johnson was coaching them ...

18. Falcons. A weaker schedule and the return of Jamal Anderson will make them a more formidable opponent in 2000.

19. Bears. Not that far from the playoffs. Signing free agent cornerback Ashley Ambrose would be a step in the right direction.

20. Ravens. The elements were there for a serious run next season: a couple of high draft picks, an improving offense and a talented young defense. But the leader of that defense, Ray Lewis, was arrested and charged with murder last Monday.

21. Cowboys. The years of poor drafting has caught up with them.

22. Cardinals. Consistently the most overrated team in football led by the game’s most overrated and overpaid quarterback (Jake Plummer).

23. Lions. See No. 13 above.

24. Giants. Another season of in-fighting and Jim Fassel will be looking for work.

25. Eagles. Could surprise in the NFC East if Donovan McNabb has a Peyton Manning-like second season.

26. Steelers. Ranked this low because Kordell Stewart has regressed over the last two seasons and ownership refuses to re-sign key free-agents.

27. Chargers. Spoilers. That’s all.

28. Bengals. Yes, they still play in the NFL.

29. 49ers. Finance majors, send your resumes to the 49ers. They need all the help they can get in trying to get under next season’s salary cap.

30. Saints. Ricky Williams — fraud or the Saints’ future?

31. Browns. They’ll trade the first pick in the 2000 draft. Just a hunch.

Mike Wilkening is a junior in commerce. He can be reached at di@illinimedia.com