Davers,
this might come as something of a shock to you, but there
are things that I don't know about. So, as a way of showing
you that I don't think of myself as some kind of hotshot know-it-all,
I figured I'd let you in on some of them. And perhaps some
of you might be able to write in and shed some light on these
subjects. Of course, once these things are cleared up, I will
actually be the smartest man to ever walk the Earth. Thank
you, thank you.
First of all, it came to my attention the "market" recently
"took a dive." Now, I'm pretty sure that this is bad. I think
I'm intelligent enough to realize that when things take a
dive, it's bad news unless, of course, it's in reference to
gas prices.
I'm also pretty sure that "market" is short for the stock
market. This is the first part I'm confused about. I know
that there are a few stock markets: NYSE, the NASDAQ, the
Dow Jones. These names mean absolutely nothing to me. As far
as I can tell, one is for beginners, one for intermediates
and one for experts. Either way, I'm very confused.
When the "market" goes down, does it mean that all of them
go down? If not, which one goes down? Isn't this stuff important?
But even if I could get past that the question remains: What
does "took a dive" mean? Did everyone just up and decide to
stop buying stock one day? Isn't that a sort of a strange
coincidence? Was everyone sick or something? It seems odd
that capitalism should be hinged on such uncertainty and chance.
And I'm assuming that when the market goes down, it means
that the prices go down. If I'm looking to buy something,
isn't this a good thing? It seems that this would be just
like the gas price thing. Who wants to spend a ton of money
on stocks?
I'm sure I sound like a moron here. After all, I'm 21 and
apparently don't know a thing about something that caused
one of the darkest periods of time in our nation's history.
Personally I think it makes me the bigger person for admitting
that.
Another thing that I'm confused about is this whole Elian
Gonzalez thing. When I typed that, Microsoft Word highlighted
the name as an error. Apparently I'm not the only one who's
in the dark on this issue.
All I know is that this little kid is Cuban but he's here
in the United States. Meanwhile, just about everyone in the
country has some really strong opinion about the matter. Some
want him to stay, some don't. People are forming human chains
to block him from being taken away. Some of the biggest names
in the political sphere are involved in this issue.
Attorney General Janet Reno has been involved in the case.
Why is someone as important as Reno getting involved in a
custody battle? I would think that she would have more to
worry herself with, like the market.
She's never mentioned me before, and I consider myself to
be somewhat important and the cause of very little sociopolitical
strife. Hell, there's got to be thousands of custody battles
going on right now. Still, I don't hear her or anybody else
talking about them.
What's really puzzling, though, is that I haven't heard a
thing about what Eli wants. Can't we get a Cuban or Spanish
or whatever-language-he-speaks translator to him and just
ask him, "Look, kid, you stayin' or goin'?" That would be
a simple solution, wouldn't it?
But there's more that I'm completely confused about. For instance,
and I hate to bring this up, what's with this whole South
Carolina Confederate flag issue? Apparently some - or one,
or all - of the government buildings are flying the flag.
A lot of people are unhappy about this because they feel it's
racist.
Gee, I don't know where they got that from. I mean, it's only
the symbol of the Confederate South that fought against the
North in the Civil War. And what was one of the big issues
back then? Slavery. The South was pro-slavery. No, that's
not racist at all.
It's obviously going to make a lot of people very, very angry
and upset. And I'm sure that South Carolina, being one of
the states in the nation that is the leader of the free world,
doesn't want to be touting a flag that says, "Hey, remember
us? We fought to enslave blacks!"
