Teen music groups ... what happened?

It's strange how history repeats itself. When our generation was growing up, the teen-pop groups we knew and loved were New Kids on the Block, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and Vanilla Ice. I can't help but notice a striking resemblance to the groups that exist today. Backstreet Boys, 'NSync, 98 Degrees (commonly referred to as the "boy bands"), Brittany Spears, Christina Aguilera and Eminem have become the modern replacements to the pop bands whose buttons we wore on our acid-washed jean jackets.

However, I will be eternally grateful that I grew up in the early 90s because the pop music we had to choose from was of much greater quality than teen music today. For example, when the New Kids sang, their songs actually made sense. Any 12-year-old going through puberty and those excruciating first kisses knew that one had to put up a tough exterior in order to survive the day-to-day embarrassments of adolescence. Thus, "Hangin' Tough" was the anthem of all pre-teens. Now we have songs called "I Want it That Way." Several questions arise: Which way do you want it? And what exactly is "it" anyway? How can kids identify with songs like that?

Furthermore, I thought that in order to grace the cover of YM, the teen idol group must be good-looking. Now granted, not all of the New Kids came from an attractive gene pool. But Joey and Donny had enough good looks between the two of them to carry the whole team. And what the others lacked in looks, they made up in dance moves. The boy bands of today think that by bleaching their hair and growing goatees, no one will notice that they are unattractive. And apparently, they are right! Don't pre-teen girls today have any standards?

Now we move onto the similarities between our female idols of the early 90s and the ones of today. Here we see a distinct deterioration of morals in American society. Whereas Debbie Gibson's trademark was a sassy hat, Brittany's is her breast implants. And just to clear a few things up: I went to an all-girls school, and when the bell rang my classmates and I did not fall into a synchronized dance and our uniform did not include a midriff-baring top. Furthermore, going back to the subject of songs that make no sense, I have been stumped for quite some time as to the meaning of "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Is Brittany Spears advocating domestic abuse? Or is this some kind of sexual connotation that I don't know about? Either way, I would rather stick with the innocent fun of Debbie's hit, "Out of the Blue."

As I remember it, it seemed as if Tiffany was always competing with Debbie Gibson - unsuccessfully - for popularity. The same can be said for Christina Aguilera. Even though she won a Grammy, it just doesn't seem like she has the staying power of Brittany Spears. This is a good thing, because hearing a girl who is the age of my little brother singing about how she wants to be "rubbed the right way" is more than a little disturbing. Tiffany's remake of "I Think We're Alone Now" was edgy, but not perverted.

Finally, we come to Vanilla Ice. He may be the most ridiculed artist in pop history, but at least at one time we thought he was cool. Eminem will never be cool, not even at the height of his popularity. Vanilla Ice's contribution to American slang is legendary. Somehow the phrase, "my name is Slim Shady" just doesn't have quite the same street-wise ring to it as "word to your mother." Even if you never liked Vanilla, which is highly unlikely, I guarantee that you know every word to "Ice, Ice Baby." And the Behind the Music about him was pretty interesting, too.

You can call me old-fashioned, but I just don't think that kids today have the same caliber of teen idols that we had when we were growing up. It seems that music producers just recycled the groups we had in our day, made them wear fewer clothes and marketed them to the newest generation of Seventeen subscribers. Every kid deserves to grow up having a talented selection of teen sensations to worship.

I bet if I were 11 years old right now, I probably wouldn't have one poster, life-sized cut-out doll or tour T-shirt in my possession. And that makes me really sad. But the good news is, I don't think kids today even know what they're missing, and as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. I will always be thankful that I grew up during a time when I could snuggle up every night in my New Kids sheets, dreaming about the day when a boy would grab my hands and whisper, "You're my cover girl." Compared to kids now, we truly had an Electric Youth.

Jessie Morrison is a sophomore in communications. Her column appears on alternate Thursdays. She can be reached at di@illinimedia.com.